Hi all! Wow, it has really been a long long long long time since I last blogged here! I’m guessing most of my blogders have already given up on me liaoz..hur hur. Sorry lah, I cannot help but ride on the Facebook bandwagon and do my updating on their newsfeed instead. It’s really so much more convenient and fun haa! But I’m not sure why I suddenly have this 冲动 tonight to finally write an entry to please all my supporters..oh wow! And that’s besides the fact that I actually have an early flight to catch tomorrow (to HK ho ho)!
So many many updates, I wonder where to begin? I went through a change of position (same department, same division but heading a new branch now). Super stressed and things got to an extent where I find myself constantly thinking of resigning…terrible huh? But I tell myself it’s still early times and I’ll give it at least half a year before I make any rash career decisions. It’s been slightly more than a month now. Things are not exactly getting way much better, but I’m slowly getting the hang of the new work issues and finding my way around how my boss works. One of the not-so-good things which happened was that I find my boss treating me differently as compared to when I was at my previous post. He seemed less friendly, more distant and sometimes I’m just a tad reluctant to ask him things cos I’m afraid he would get irritated or annoyed. Just a few months ago, he used to be like one of the nicest persons I worked with. But now, it’s just NOT THE SAME anymore! No, I’m not really blaming him or anything cos I know he is also going through a very rough patch, having been thrusted into a difficult work posting and having to prove his capabilities to everyone out there. I’m sure the stress levels which he is ‘suffering’ are many many times more severe and terrible than me. So, most of the times I’ll just swallow my misery and tears and continue to plow through my work problems hoping that someday I’ll see light on my own. Relationships with fellow colleagues have also taken a strange turn with certain people treating me differently as well. It’s just weird lar…and I cannot explain it myself either. There are times when I feel like an outcast, being left out of their conversations and gatherings. Interestingly, this is the first time I’ve ever felt like this, and I’ve promised myself that I should never never do this to anyone else ever. It’s just so agonising and it feels absolutely horrible.
Thankfully, 天无绝人之路. God has given me something else to 弥补 the unlucky streak at work. Unfortunately I cannot say much here as I really do not wanna jinx it (yes I know, I’m super superstitious but that’s me ok!). But what I can say is that even if this does not work out eventually, I’m glad it happened cos otherwise, I wouldn’t have known that the world can be so bright and beautiful, or that I can feel so 幸福 and happy and glad and loved, and etc etc. Of course there were times when I seriously doubt if this can work out, and there were times when I felt it would definitely not. But I like what my sis had advised me, during those nerve-wrecking moments of agony. She said, “姐, just be patient. If it’s meant to be, then you don’t have to do anything and it’ll work. If it’s not meant for you, then no matter how much you worry or think about it, nothing will happen.” I also know better than to rush things through, especially after last year’s experience with C.
But thus far, things had been 75% sweet, 20% self-doubt and 5% neither here nor there. Hur hur. And it is coming to 5 months liaoz! Time flies man…
=D
I hope this entry have been worth your time reading it. Hehehehe.
